Adulthood

Hey there. Today I'm officially 21. Consider an adult already. I have responsibilities in everything I do starting from now on. Gotta be more independent and think wiser than before. Life might be tough but I still need to face it on my own and make my own path. Always remind myself that everything happens for a reason. Stop comparing people's lives with my own life. Everybody's different in their own ways. So, just accept everything that God has given to me and start living my life to its fullest. Most importantly, thanks to my mother for giving birth to me into this wonderful world. It's not about me on my birthday, but it's about you, Mother. I'm sorry for the times when I hurt your feelings and I'm deeply sorry too 'cause I never call home and ask how you are. Please bear with my coldness. I've been used to keep things to myself and I don't see that as a wrong attitude to have. But I promise I will never leave you and will take care of you in the future when I become a true adult. Amen.

Homesick

Was scanning through some old photos this evening when I stumbled upon a picture of my mother.

Within seconds, tears started to fill up the corner of my eyes and naturally I cried. I used to tell people around me that I'm not the kind of homesick person. But now I can deny no more.

I miss my home.

I guess maybe life has been too tough for me to survive here. I'm still wandering around and not struggling hard for future. It's such a shame for a 20-year-old to be that immature and unable to cope with the surrounding. I feel so sorry for not living my life the way I should be and always have to make my mother worry about me. Really feel bad about that.

Anyway, there's a week of holidays coming soon and I'm going back to my hometown Bintulu this Friday night. Can't wait for it.

I wonder how are you doing Mother...

*force a smile*